Hashtag no filter
Updated: Apr 14, 2018
So, this is it then...the kick off post where you find out what I've got to say and how I'm going to say it.
Unfortunately, I think I'm going to say it just like it is in my head. Which means there's going to be a lot of words, a lot of confusion, indecision, heartache and general angst because, although I am now into my forties (and so clearly a grown-ass woman), I really don't feel any more grown up and sorted than I was when I was in my teens. So ain't that a treat for ya?!
Right off the bat I'm going to set some parameters.
First, as the title of this post suggests, the aim is for it to be unfiltered, both in terms of the content and any photos used. As a 42 year old woman, who's never taken that much care of herself and in this social media/personal brand obsessed world, that's a pretty scary mission to set myself.
The reason I'm even contemplating doing such a bat-shit-crazy thing is because this blog is, yes you've guessed it, a journal of personal discovery (yey!! Woohoo! And the crowd goes wild!!!). But listen, at this point, I'm not even sure what I mean by that. What I do know is that it doesn't make a lot of sense to try and sugar coat my life with filtered photos or selected stories where things are going to plan when, let's face it, they usually don’t.
Take Instagram for instance. I joined it back in 2012; everyone I followed was either a friend or a photographer and all my posts were either amateur 'arty' shots or pics of my kids. Fast forward to 2017 and now I'm all about the Instamums and the lifestyle accounts and my photos are all now heavily edited.
Don't get me wrong, I don't think there's anything wrong with being an Instamum or having a feed that's focussed on your life. What has begun to annoy me is that I've bought into it so much that I feel the need to try and keep up with the high profile accounts and project an image of myself that is basically fictitious. Take this photo - I'm lying down so that you can't see any rolls of tummy and I can assure you that my skin has not looked like that since before puberty!
The IRL me is actually currently slightly overweight, has hyperpigmented skin and is a bit of a goon - and what's wrong with that??
Next parameter: anything goes.
By which I mean, I will talk about whatever the hell is playing on my middle-aged mind: friendships, family, loss, food, children, facial hair, lovers, wrinkles, likes, dislikes, politics and did I mention the damn facial hair??
Disclaimer: 'anything goes' does not mean I'm up for anything sexually. I am in no way interested in seeing pictures of anybody's dick. Ever. Just so we're clear.
Something I've never been very good at is talking to people. As I've got older and as I've experienced more in my personal life, I've learned the power of opening up to someone and sharing those experiences. Unfortunately for me, I have a massive filter and am still very much inhibited by worrying about what I think people think about me. I don't like to upset other people, I don't like to be thought of as boring and sometimes I'm just not very good at small talk.
What I'd like to achieve here is to open up about some difficult personal things that have affected me in the last few years. I also want to talk about subjects that affect me in my life (like being a single mum, being a middle aged woman, being self-employed, being a newly only child) without worrying too much about who hears it. After all, if I can't see you, you don't exist right? Actually I haven't even decided if I'm going to share that I'm writing this so 'you' probably don't exist!
So there, with those two (technically 3) boundaries set, I welcome you to my blog. It might be a load of middle-aged-woman wank or, then again, it might be something you're interested in. Either way, I hope you enjoy my waffle.